Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Name Your Poison

Triazyldazzle and Jim Beam. Morphine and Coke. Coffee and Irish creme. Xanax and toast.

There are many a cocktail in this world. Some of them we're born with, others we inherit. There's nature and nurture in our story of existence, and many tales to be told whether we realize it or not.

I'm trying to realize what my chemical equilibrium is. What substances can I invite into my being? And which do I need to commit to? Are there things, like apples and oranges, that I need to work into my daily intake? And is there a choice? Do I need fruits and vegetables daily just to survive on an even keel?

Probably. Just like I need to take my medications as prescribed. But one must measure for perfectionism, too. Not all advice can or should be followed.

Okay, so I believe I'm piggybacking on a friend. (Golly, I hope she don't mind. Tee hee.) If you want more of the skinny on bipolar survival and the medicine dancing we do, check out Ms. Mattern's latest effort atBreed 'em and Weep. She's got the goods on what's working for her, and what she faces with this disorder, and she does a great job writing about it. But that's come to be expected, seeing as how she's established herself as a defining voice in the blogosphere. Much praise, Jennifer. Keep up the good fight.

Me, I'm just fighting to get something down on cyberpaper. I wish I could write extensively about a single subject, with flair and abundance. But I am currently siphoning off of a collective brain, and I am only at seventeen percent efficiency with my creativity auger. Whatever that means. Suffice it to say, I'm experiencing a learning curve, as well as just feeling a bit, well, creatively constipated.

I want to tell you, dear reader, more about my recollections and experiences, but I seem to be wearing a lead jacket with woolen lining. I'm bogged down in details and editing instead of writing out the bones, starting with the structure and adding the meat and potatoes later.

Whatever that means.

New rule. Never write prior to eating dinner. Too much food imagery and digestive distraction.

Anyway. I needed to get a new blog entry. Done. Now on to getting more something or other in hopes of getting closer to the goal of writing this Greece work of art. I must write it, cuz I can't very well paint it.

New page, please.


Deb said...

Sometimes I feel "creatively constipated" as well. Just keep pushing. You may find that you eventually rip open and let everything out. (How's that for a metaphor?) But even little balls of creativity are good to push out. Love you!

Gerri said...

Just keep will make it!