Wednesday, August 1, 2012

To Take Root or Water Elsewhere

So I missed most of July.  At least, I missed chronicling it here.  So I have a little catching up to do.

In July, I finished quitting my job.  I had started quitting it several times already, talking myself into scenarios about how it didn't matter enough, didn't pay enough, took too much of my time without enough payback.  All in all, it wasn't so bad a job.  But it wasn't enough.  I need something bigger, something that means something bigger.  And that hopefully pays a lot better.  So.  Back to looking.

We had our Relay For Life event at Cupertino High School.  It went well, although it was different with the setup that we had.  Or should I say layout.  We couldn't camp like we usually do on the track so instead had a satellite camp ground on the practice field, away from the track.  The facility is brand spanking new and has the artificial turf that the administrators are very careful about protecting.  No food on the track, or drinks, except water.  So all the day-of fundraising was off, and the interaction was fragmented.  But we made it work.  Got to be nice and hot for the afternoon, and there was no natural shade.  Just easy-ups and some umbrellas.  A nice breeze kicked up in the late afternoon and helped make things much more comfortable.

I've been living through two-week cycles of mood swinging.  Feel great with lots of energy and hope and get-to-workedness, then crashing to sleep, sleep, and more sleep.  I have a hearing on Friday about my disability claim with Social Security.  Wonder how I'll feel for that.

My book is available on and (Barnes and Noble) and I think I've even sold a copy or two.  Now to finish the book about my bipolar life...

We're talking about our financial situation, and things are not very pretty.  We're looking into bankruptcy.  We've considered selling our house and finding somewhere cheaper to live.  Something inside me is yelling to me that I should keep this house.  I don't know why.  I can't justify it to anyone.  I just feel like I need to make a move to grow some roots here, right here, right now.  To work out in the yards and make a difference== not for curb appeal, but for me, spiritually.  To make this a home, where I grow and harvest food that we eat and make use of our land that we own and share the abundance.  We have oranges, tangelos, lemons, and an artichoke plant that has yet to bear fruit.  But we have so much more soil and resources...  I want to plant vines.  Grapes and blueberries and blackberries.  I want an herb and spice garden.  I want to bring back native plants to my yard, and let them flourish.  And I want to be free to do these things on my own property, without the meddling of a landlord.

Now I realize I might have to contend with city ordinances and neighbors who disagree with my choices.  But it's the revolutionary act that is most important to me-- to take back ownership and responsibility for my food and my nutrition.  To unplug from the restaurant circuit.  And to feel better about myself and how I'm eating.

I don't know that I'll be raising chickens anytime soon, but I want to explore the homesteading direction.  So maybe we should look into property in the country.  Maybe the answer is not to bear down and live here at all cost, but to let go and move to another area.

Maybe the homestead is calling me from afar.

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