Saturday, June 13, 2009

Milk Thistle

Been receiving signs lately. He's coming.

Don't know his whereabouts, but he's out there. And I know it. He's communicating with me. Leaving clues.

Recently, I found the blue bottle of Milk Thistle herbal supplement. 200 capsules of standardized extract to help maintain healthy liver function. Whatever. The message was in the name. A command: Milk Thistle. For all he's worth.

The serendipitous alignment notwithstanding, I have continued to march through my assignments with calloused rote regimen. No, really.

Well, alright. So I don't have any rituals or routines. But I'm trying.

No. Really.

I dove into some old papers the other night and unearthed another nugget. Am I channeling a higher energy when Thistle comes to life in my mind, in my writing? Or is it yet another distraction from what I really need to be doing? No, the communiques are interesting, enlivening, energizing even. The thought distortion is around the "should," as in I should be doing my taxes, or I should be mowing the lawn.

Anyway. The nugget. It's not clear when I wrote this. But deducing from all of the scribbled notes and "to do" jargon, I'm gonna guess it was more than ten years ago. Here's the text as written:
  • "Thistle hiding from pain. Running from hard truths of not being accepted, not being loved. Carves out reality based on half truths; Reluctant to face inconsistencies. Instead forays into detailed analysis of "Super" powers and simplicities of living-- breathing, walking, drinking (water)-- deconstructing the elements & essentials of life, formulating a path back to the reality he is denying exists."
So I'm thinking that I will continue to run into him in my subconscious until eventually he knocks on my door and invites me to lunch.

I think Thistle is an alter ego, yes. Created by my young writer's mind as a potential manifestation of myself, he was me "in twenty years." Well. Now I'm almost me in 20 years from that time.

I'm about to be staring Thistle in the face.


Gerri said...

Now we are getting somewhere...very interesting.

Deb said...

All I could think of while reading your post was "Thistleman, he played one, he played nick-nack on my thumb..." Don't know why. Perhaps he is a superhero as well.

Keep writing.

Suzy said...

Hurray for Thistle. Bring him on....