Tuesday, September 4, 2007

What of this "Tripolarity," Anyway?

For those about to rock...
It was a seemingly enough amazing vacation plan. We’d go to Greece for almost two weeks, seeing the country like no regular tourist experiences it. We’d have a native family to guide us, interpret for us, entertain us, and assist us.
It all had come together so dramatically—like a tightly written chapter in a biographer’s masterpiece. I would be ending my tenure in Engineering, one that had become increasingly more and more stressful, for the dream vacation with my wife and a friend I hadn’t seen in many years (as well as many others). And upon returning to the mainland, I’d slide into my imagined idyllic job in the Finance Department.
But just when all seemed set, and paradise found, the unfathomable, unexplainable, unplanned major fork in the road curve ball fly in the ointment outta nowhere kick in the head derailed all storylines, all realistic visions of the future.
Or so I’m told.
Yes, this is my story; but I’m still making sense of it.
If there’s sense to be made.

He and I had attended college together; we were "Dormmates" Freshman year, "Floormates" our Sophomore year, "Housemates" our Junior year, and thus, lifetime friends. We shared in the experiences of growing up, being on our own, living and studying and trying to find the ever elusive perfection of love, wherever she was.

We had many shared friends, and even more shared experiences-- Winter break trips to Chicago and Valparasio, grand drinking excursions and loud parties, both hosted and attended. We shared a love like brothers, persisting through disagreements, arguments, and the necessary mistakes which bring great learning.

But by the end of our time in Greece together, I would be left scrambling within my mind, wondering if he was one of my best friends, or the greatest foil I'd ever ran up against.

And by no fault of his. Who knows what reality was. It didn't matter. I was living inside my head. And it didn't make sense to me.

Even though it felt like it did. Fleetingly... it was a fluid lucidity; making sense in the moment. And as time passed, context was forgotten, replaced.

I'm guessing that there was just too much coming in to make sense of. Sensory overload.

So that's what I've been trying to do over the course of the past six years-- organize, rehash, vocalize, chronicle, and analyze my recollection and tell the story that I've lived through.

Get comfortable. This could be a rough ride.


Deb said...

I'm interested to see your "take" on events. I wasn't there, but I knew what was happening. All I could do was love you from afar...much as I do now. Love ya, big bro.

David said...

GO FOR IT. Keep the juices flowing and from within,the unknown will appear and you will be able to learn and be more humble about the people you come into contact with as well as yourself.
Luv ya, Buddy........

Suzy said...

I will need to get my act together and help put some of the puzzle pieces together. For one that lived this with you, I applaud your willingness to share and hope I can help you make sense of all that happened and at the same time see the other side of the story. I love you very much.

Gerri Andrade said...

That was a terrible time for all of us that love you. You were so far away and there was no way we could get to you or to Suzy to help. Suzy was so great in keeping us posted as to what was happening and how you were doing. She is a real gem!

We all love you and respect the fact that you can so eloquently express your thoughts and feelings. You are a great inspiration, even for people that don't know you personally.

Love you, Buddy!