Dreaming is Easy

Just have time for a little Journal Jar entry, so let's get going...

Describe a recurring dream you had as a child, a teen or an adult.

I have a couple recurring dreams to choose from here, but my thought is to instead recite one of my earliest recollections of a dream.  When I was very young, probably about 5 or so, I remember having a dream that my dad was featured on a family sit com on television.  The show was in black and white, and my dad was some sort of robot that kept falling apart to a laugh track.  Various parts would fall off and scurry around on the hard wood floors and people would laugh hysterically.  Don't know why I remember this.  I always meant to ask my parents about that time, and if there was a similar tv show that they recalled being on when I was that age.  But I could never remember to ask them.  So maybe they'll read this and have an answer for me and I can finally put that memory to rest...

Other recurring thoughts or dreams include the dream where I can't wake up.  I think I wrote about it here before, where I feel like I'm trapped in a comatose body that I can't control, but I try to wake up and can only muster little bits of activity...  The more recent recurring dream that I have is about being back in college, finishing up my degree, or just being back in school (be it high school or college) and reliving those experiences with my broader perspective that I've gained by living my life the past twenty plus years. 

The settings in my dreams are almost always elaborate and labyrinthine at times.  I dream in great detail, with lush surfaces and finely decorated structures.  Most of my dreams are filled with a sense of wonder and curiosity, of inspiration and nurturing.  I usually enjoy dreaming, even when the dreams startle me.  There is usually some sort of lesson.  It isn't always spelled out in plain language.  In fact it rarely translates to words.  But there is emotion that is real and exhilarating.  My dreams make me hopeful.  They recharge my imagination.

I think that's why I like to sleep so much.  There is so much more possible in the dream world, or so it seems.  In reality, it's all possible.  Imagining it into existence is what it takes to make it real.

Dreaming Face Fractals

Do I dare do two Journal Jar entries in the same day?

Here goes something--

What is the weirdest dream you've ever had?

Well now, that's just impossible.  I have too many weird dreams to choose from.  They're all extremely weird.  Dreams can be that way.

Face Fraction

One of the weirdest sensations I've had while dreaming was the feeling that I can't wake up completely.  This has happened several times.  In the dream, I realize that I'm asleep and I'll start trying to wake up, trying to move, but I'm separate from my body.  I'm just thinking, detached from the physical body.  I try to move, to slap myself in the face to wake me up, but nothing works.  I usually end up trying to yell something, screaming.  Sustained straining and screaming starts to move my body away from the deep slumber, and I'll whimper or moan as a connection starts to establish itself.  After what seems like a long and drawn out struggle, I awake to myself yelling and sit up with a start.  I usually still feel drugged, heavy, drowsed, but I'm rattled and anxious now.

This dream led to my central struggle in the plot of my short story that I wrote in high school, called "Death of a Nerd."  Someday I'll have to post it.  I have to unearth it from all the writing stuff I have amassed.  It's in here somewhere.

I have a lot of writing that I've already done that hasn't seen another person's eyes.  And a lot of it might just stay that way.  I wrote a lot of journals when I was younger.  It was therapy before I could afford regular therapy.  Writing is powerful like that.  It gets the stuff out of your head and into your hands so you can work with it, like clay.  Once it's out, you can organize it, shape it, work it into something.  And it clears space for the origination of greater thought.

I worked today on my sort of children's book.  I'm thinking more and more that I just need to get on with it and make some dumb ass drawings for it and get it done so that I can publish it myself and give it away to Armand and Melissa before their kids are in college already.  The book was born over ten years ago already.  Ten years.  That's a lot of reading time.  A children's book takes only minutes to read.  How long do they take to write and illustrate?  A little longer, I'm guessing.  A little longer.

Anyway.  Back to the weird dreams... I've blogged about them before: see the Dream of Life and Goals Work to Make Dreams Reality.  Also Return to the Journal Jar.  Do check them out.  I don't recall having much weirdness happen in my dreams as of late.  So I'm due.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have a real doosie.  Or is that Duzy?  Douxie.  You get the idea.  Something major.  Until then, then.

Goals Work to Make Dreams Reality

I'm setting a goal to finish the Journal Jar prompts that I have by the end of this year.  Not gonna count how many are in there, just gonna go for it.  Wish me luck.

First towards this end:

What are your goals and dreams?

Well, didn't I just talk about that?  Eerie, no?

I have dreams of getting published as a writer, or being "discovered" for what I've already been doing and landing some sort of deal where I just keep doing what comes natural for me and I get taken care of...  Y'know, sometimes called "pipe dreams", evidently because you're sucking on some sort of pipe while you're thinking about them?  Something like that.  I dream of working with my community to find solutions to our common problems.  I see opportunities to make things happen, but I think about it too much instead of acting on it.  I want to perfect things before I act.  This is a problem for me.

But I find ways around it.  And I keep going.  Forward, onward, march.  Other months too. 

I dream a lot about "figuring it all out" and making sense of every little thing I can think of.  This is a fantastic feeling when I can do it, but I can never seem to transfer it to my waking mind and conscious life.  The beauty of course is that I do experience it, and that it exists, if only in my subconscious.  But it does happen, it does exist.  It is real and I feel it totally, and it is invigorating.  Inspiring.  Intoxicating.

I dream of solving the problems of the world somehow, by dreaming solutions and applying them.  I feel that I can fabricate thought patterns that will manipulate and shape the space-time continuum.  No, really.  My thoughts (and yours too, for that matter) are powerful forces of nature that go unmeasured most of the time.  But I'm giving birth to the universe with every thought I have.  Every thought is a Big Bang.  And I am so much more than just my thoughts.  This is really big stuff.

I just turned my hat around backwards so the "bill" is pointed out over my neck and back.  This could signify a change in direction or thought, but we'll just have to see about that.  Won't we.  I'm noticing that it has changed my vision-- more light is shining into my eyes now.  I don't have a protective shadow at my forehead any longer.  What else shall this bring?

I dream of peace.  I really think it's possible, in the moment.  We can do it.  We just have to want it above all else.  We must love our way.  I dream of love for all.  May you have love.  May you not go lonely.  I love you.  I will at least try.

Gotta go and call my mom now.  Peace and love be with you.